Infinity Is The Lack Of Limitations - Aristotle

I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine who for the last almost five years has been having an on again off again love affair with Cancer. I call it this because after a third go for her It seems to me that Cancer has an obsession with this woman. It comes to stay awhile and fucks her repeatedly then moves on to something more entertaining only to revisit her again and again. Now this third go around should and possibly still may be her last as about 9 months ago she relapsed for the third time and was given little hope of survival. She had accepted her diagnosis even before they had handed it down to her and had already made her peace preparing herself and the ones closest to her for what was to come.

Almost three months ago she was contacted by her Gynecological Oncologist with news that she was eligible for a trial study that could possibly do some good. Her fear was that she would get the hopes of the ones she cared so much about up and if it failed she would be the cause for them to go from some semblance of acceptance to hope and then loss all in one fell swoop.  After carefully weighing the options and listening to everyone’s desires, she chose to try the treatments and see what happened.  It has been a terribly long road, this trip being the worst of them all, but she has kept going because her love for her family means more to her than her own comfort or desire to give in and move on. She has kept this secret from many as well and I believe that it bore’s down on her, even though the ones she keeps it from have not earned nor do they deserve the right to know the fight she battles every single day.

Her treatments are almost over and though she is unsure of her future she continues to do what needs to be done for the people she loves. One of those people is in the group she does her treatments with weekly. A young lady who just turned 18 who has been battling this nightmare for even longer than my friend has. Her first diagnoses was when he was 4 and it has been a constant battle of wills ever since. The group she is in has treatments every other day. An aggressive mix of chemo and radiation which as you can well imagine causes as many issues as it fixes. Her group consists of 6 others. One of which is a man in his late 20’s who seems to be angry at the world. Not unsurprising given the situation they are in but some things are unacceptable. This young man treats the nurses like trash, he talks to them as if they are nothing more than objects that can be discarded when one is done using them. Now these women are capable of handling their own. They have seen it all at one point or another. Dealing with a nasty attitude is par for the course as they see it.

Yesterday though he decided to turn his sights on the girl who has done nothing but try to accept her fate and fight a fight no young girl should ever have to. The girl and my friend were talking about prom which is soon approaching for her and how excited she was that this was her Senior year and that the boy she has spent the last two years with would be by her side as she walked in in all her beautiful bald glory. (The thought made me tear up and that my friend is something I seldom do.) Out of nowhere this useless sack of shit decided he would make a snide remark about how her boyfriend only stuck around out of charity and to get easy pussy, because no one really wants a anorexic bald bitch who probably won’t live to be 20. My friend, who like me, has a nasty fucking temper and a sharp fucking tongue when provoked did two things systematically.

She jumped to her feet snapped the line from her treatment and quickly made her way to the fuckwit who didn’t know any better than to piss her off.  She lit into him quick and without mercy. She made it clear if he ever so much as looked at the girl cross eyed she would fuck his entire world up. (She is small but the bitch is evil trust me) She whispered to him that she knew what his business was and that she would own him and it by the end of the day if he ever spoke out of turn to anyone including the nurses ever again. She then informed him that her son was a part of an MC an ever growing one and that she only needed to shoot a single word and what he considered his life would be nothing more than his imagination poofing in the wind. The nurses never stood in nor did they say a word to her when she returned to her chair and they resumed where they had left off. She consoled the girl and made it clear that as long as she was near no one would ever speak to her in anything other than a respectful way.

When the day was over she had a very long conversation with her Doctor and the hospital Admin and made sure he would no longer be part of their small group. I have an innate dislike for anyone who deems themselves capable of causing someone smaller and weaker than them a target. I spent years someone’s target.  It took me far too long to see that I was far more. No one has the right to harm someone else just because they can’t handle their own fear.  I see to many people thinking that they can abuse others by using them, harming them or bullying them with words just because they can’t handle their own lives. It is an unacceptable thing to me for anyone to be used or abused even if only by words.

Just remember. Everything you do comes back to you. EVERYTHING you say or do to others comes back to you. Maybe you think you’re invincible but you aren’t. Someday the things you have done, the lies you have told, the hurt and pain you have caused others. The harm you have done be it physical, mental or verbal will come back to you. You will have to answer to it all. I pray that I get a front row seat to those who have done so to me and the ones I love with a bottle of wine and some popcorn to go with the show. Someday the things you have done. The hurt you have caused will beckon to be answered. Someday you will have to answer to them all. 

 Sinny