I keep telling myself that things with people will always find some sort of even keel... I am pretty sure that makes me the most delusional bitch ever created. I am a total Introvert. I seldom maneuver beyond the very small selection of people I have in my life. I do this because lets be real here. People are a fucking disappointment on a good day. On a bad day... Fuck that.. I haven't the energy or the time for all the bullshit that comes with dealing with most living breathing speaking animals.  Most are only out for themselves, the what can you do for me types. We all know at least one. Don't even pretend you don't. I try very hard in my daily life to treat those around me with respect. Some make this a very hard thing to accomplish though. Who the fuck do you think you are to act as if I owe you the world? Just so you know... I don't owe you shit sweet cheeks. My attitude towards you is simple. If you come at me sideways, it comes down to this. First and foremost I will pretend you're just ragging and step away. If you continue I will then begin to try and be polite while telling you to chill the fuck out. When you go above and beyond my tolerance for your bullshit I will then quickly and severely educate your ass as to remind you who you are speaking to, I don't claim to be some John Wayne Badass. I don't try to be superior to anyone and I don't act as if I am someone I'm not. I will however remind you that I am not afraid of you and your fucking temper tantrums, I am above you by far and let us be real yet again. Your IQ couldn't compete with mine on its best fucking day. I will not keep walking on eggshells around your ass so be prepared because the day is coming and I promise you that the only one who will regret it is you. Your bridges are burnt. Who will you run to when you have no where left to run?

People are impatient. 

They want things to happen overnight, 

and have no idea of the circumstances and situations that 

can surround an individual at times.

Rohit Sharma

 

 

 

 

Have you ever just kinda been hanging out doing things and gotten some random text. You reply and then starts the downhill slope of the person who texted you nit picking your words apart and then flipping it all saying your the one who caused the now increasing tension and rapidly evolving anger that is rising in you? This is what happened to me tonight... And I'm stuck at this very moment between WTF and which of my backlogged CSI episodes I could use in a creative way to get away with doing some fucked up BONES episode worthy murder type shit... 

I suppose I should give a bit of background as to what happened huh? I had just finished dinner and was kinda all bloaty fat girl chillin. (Yeah don't front every last one of you bitches know what Im talkin about) I got a text kinda random and out of no where as it had been a bit since I heard from the person in question... Not ages but long enough that the text was unexpected at that specific moment and the question threw me off. 

Person: Answer this question

Me: What?

Person: U love me?

Me Yes?

Ok so at this point I'm cool, simple right? Yeah nothing for me can be that fucking simple. 

 

Person: Yes? Lol

Person: Questioning your answer?

 

 

Ok...... Here I wish to point out... ANYONE who knows me.. Knows I NEVER question my answers on ANYTHING. I take nothing lightly. I don't have time for questioning myself and If I say something I damn well mean it. This person has known me for YEARS. Not one or two years. Im talking a decade. So more than fucking long enough to know me and know how I am.

 

Me: No.. Questioning why you're asking.

Person: Haven't heard it from u in awhile 

Person: Baby it's not difficult

 

And here we go.... This is where my issues begin... Why.... WHY would you say some shit like that to me KNOWING how I am? Everyone who knows me knows well I don't do all the lovey dovey emotional bullshit. I make my feelings more than clear to the ones I love. IF you have earned your place in my heart than there is NEVER doubt that I love you. Why must I stroke egos with "I love you" every few minutes? Words mean shit to me. Its actions. Its emotions. Its the REAL shit that means something to me. And I have never failed to make my emotions or my actions speak loudly enough that they can be misconstrued. 

 

Me: What isn't  (At this point I know Im getting pissed and I should back the fuck off but the cunt in me needs to see where this is going so I don't snap off for no good reason)

 

Person: To

Person: Say

Person: I

Me: Never claimed it was.

Person: Love

Person You

Person: You're making this difficult.. are u ok

Me: Making what difficult "person"? Why wouldn't I be ok?

Person: Lol.. because you texted yes?

Person: Ok moving on lol

Me: You text me the question how did you expect me to reply?

Me: You're starting to piss me off.

Person: Ok Ok I'm backing off.. sorry

 

Of course backing off would mean he actually stopped and god forbid he do such a thing because that means he would stop picking me apart and he can't have that. I have zero patience for being picked apart and then when the person doesn't get the desired results then proceeds in blaming me for it all... My entire life I have never been an overtly affectionate person. Does that mean I don't love the people in my life or that I don't say it or show it? No. What it does mean is that I don't see a need in repeatedly say I love you every few minutes. I don't see a need in huge displays of affection to make my feelings known. Amazingly enough in all of my living years no one has had a complaint until this one person? How is that? How is it that in 39 years only one person seems to see me as some frigid unfeeling person? I understand that I can be closed off. I tend to shut down around people I don't know. In my daily life I can literally go days without speaking to anyone. If I have nothing to say than whats the point? And If I don't know you I shy away. Now If you piss me off it makes no difference if I know you or not I will open my mouth and let the whole fucking world know what I think. If I find a conversation interesting I will involve myself in it if invited. I just see no need to have to stroke peoples egos, with fake friendships or fake emotions. If I love you, you know it. Will I tell you. Of course, will I do it constantly to keep your fragile emotions saturated? No I will not. 

 

 

I will repeat this time and time again... To anyone who feels the need to pick apart my words or lack there of. To flip shit when it doesn't go your way and then lay the blame on me for it all. 

 

I AM NOT THE ONE

 

I will not be cowed and I sure as fuck won't sit idly by while you make me feel bad for being who I am. This is why I keep distant and this is why I pull away. Do not be mistaken, I will shut you out just as fast as I let you in. 

 

 

Infinity Is The Lack Of Limitations - Aristotle

I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend of mine who for the last almost five years has been having an on again off again love affair with Cancer. I call it this because after a third go for her It seems to me that Cancer has an obsession with this woman. It comes to stay awhile and fucks her repeatedly then moves on to something more entertaining only to revisit her again and again. Now this third go around should and possibly still may be her last as about 9 months ago she relapsed for the third time and was given little hope of survival. She had accepted her diagnosis even before they had handed it down to her and had already made her peace preparing herself and the ones closest to her for what was to come.

Almost three months ago she was contacted by her Gynecological Oncologist with news that she was eligible for a trial study that could possibly do some good. Her fear was that she would get the hopes of the ones she cared so much about up and if it failed she would be the cause for them to go from some semblance of acceptance to hope and then loss all in one fell swoop.  After carefully weighing the options and listening to everyone’s desires, she chose to try the treatments and see what happened.  It has been a terribly long road, this trip being the worst of them all, but she has kept going because her love for her family means more to her than her own comfort or desire to give in and move on. She has kept this secret from many as well and I believe that it bore’s down on her, even though the ones she keeps it from have not earned nor do they deserve the right to know the fight she battles every single day.

Her treatments are almost over and though she is unsure of her future she continues to do what needs to be done for the people she loves. One of those people is in the group she does her treatments with weekly. A young lady who just turned 18 who has been battling this nightmare for even longer than my friend has. Her first diagnoses was when he was 4 and it has been a constant battle of wills ever since. The group she is in has treatments every other day. An aggressive mix of chemo and radiation which as you can well imagine causes as many issues as it fixes. Her group consists of 6 others. One of which is a man in his late 20’s who seems to be angry at the world. Not unsurprising given the situation they are in but some things are unacceptable. This young man treats the nurses like trash, he talks to them as if they are nothing more than objects that can be discarded when one is done using them. Now these women are capable of handling their own. They have seen it all at one point or another. Dealing with a nasty attitude is par for the course as they see it.

Yesterday though he decided to turn his sights on the girl who has done nothing but try to accept her fate and fight a fight no young girl should ever have to. The girl and my friend were talking about prom which is soon approaching for her and how excited she was that this was her Senior year and that the boy she has spent the last two years with would be by her side as she walked in in all her beautiful bald glory. (The thought made me tear up and that my friend is something I seldom do.) Out of nowhere this useless sack of shit decided he would make a snide remark about how her boyfriend only stuck around out of charity and to get easy pussy, because no one really wants a anorexic bald bitch who probably won’t live to be 20. My friend, who like me, has a nasty fucking temper and a sharp fucking tongue when provoked did two things systematically.

She jumped to her feet snapped the line from her treatment and quickly made her way to the fuckwit who didn’t know any better than to piss her off.  She lit into him quick and without mercy. She made it clear if he ever so much as looked at the girl cross eyed she would fuck his entire world up. (She is small but the bitch is evil trust me) She whispered to him that she knew what his business was and that she would own him and it by the end of the day if he ever spoke out of turn to anyone including the nurses ever again. She then informed him that her son was a part of an MC an ever growing one and that she only needed to shoot a single word and what he considered his life would be nothing more than his imagination poofing in the wind. The nurses never stood in nor did they say a word to her when she returned to her chair and they resumed where they had left off. She consoled the girl and made it clear that as long as she was near no one would ever speak to her in anything other than a respectful way.

When the day was over she had a very long conversation with her Doctor and the hospital Admin and made sure he would no longer be part of their small group. I have an innate dislike for anyone who deems themselves capable of causing someone smaller and weaker than them a target. I spent years someone’s target.  It took me far too long to see that I was far more. No one has the right to harm someone else just because they can’t handle their own fear.  I see to many people thinking that they can abuse others by using them, harming them or bullying them with words just because they can’t handle their own lives. It is an unacceptable thing to me for anyone to be used or abused even if only by words.

Just remember. Everything you do comes back to you. EVERYTHING you say or do to others comes back to you. Maybe you think you’re invincible but you aren’t. Someday the things you have done, the lies you have told, the hurt and pain you have caused others. The harm you have done be it physical, mental or verbal will come back to you. You will have to answer to it all. I pray that I get a front row seat to those who have done so to me and the ones I love with a bottle of wine and some popcorn to go with the show. Someday the things you have done. The hurt you have caused will beckon to be answered. Someday you will have to answer to them all. 

 Sinny

Fantasy Freak

Naughty Nurse Fantasy Anyone?!

 

 

 

Ok so here is the deal for today’s blog… I will put this out there first and foremost so that you all can make the quick decision on whether you want to continue reading or not… This post will contain subjects of a very sexual nature and a plethora of foul words that you may or may not have heard before…  If you wish to continue reading by all means enjoy… If you’re a frigid bitch than by all means move along and forget you even came to my blog for the day.

Now that THAT has been taken care of let us move on shall we?

I have a very good friend who is spending some time in a hospital type setting. This is neither a rehab nor a mental institute… Though he possible could afford a 72 hour hold.. Just sayin…  Now his age dwarfs mine by 12 almost 13 years so needless to say the old fuck has a plethora of freak floating around his Viagra soaked veins.. (For those who never hear from me again after this post you know why hahaha)  He is a voyeur at heart and loves him some visuals. And he has been told a story which given the place he is at currently is kicking his freak into high gear. 

Everyone has a sexual fantasy.  Any of you who say you don’t are liars. Not just to the public at large or this readership but liars to yourself as well. EVERYONE has a sexual fantasy.  Many of you know me but don’t know the lifestyle that I enjoy beyond my daily control freak life.  We all have secrets do we not? I mean really who wants the world to know they enjoy a bit of puppy play? Possibly you enjoy a little golden shower?  The occasional slap n tickle? It’s quit alright. I am not here to judge in any way. My freak flag flies high and strong.  Some of you know what my fetishes are; some know what my private lifestyle entails. Most do not though, as I am a private person in and out of my daily and nightly life. I will today for Blog sake give you a small insight.  I have a pain fetish. I love to mix pain with my pleasure.  Call me what you will makes no difference to me but it is my choice not yours and I could truly give two fucks what you think at the end of the day.

So drifting along… My friend being stuck where he is for the next month has been given the glorious view of a doppelganger nurse who fits his naughty nurse fantasy perfectly.. He came upon this fantasy via story that was told to him by someone who lived this fantasy. Though she was the nurse and the person she filled this fantasy with was a Dr. both consenting adults never expecting what happened would happen.  Soo… This friend is now stuck in a facility for the next month forced to see this nurse who fits his fantasy on a daily basis.. Oh the masturbation trauma to come!! Did I mention he is sharing this area with at the moment more than a dozen other men within the same age range as he? I have had one hell of a giggle over this. Of course at his expense because.. Well… It’s fucking hilarious!

Do I have advice to give him you say? I have told him to find a lovely supply closet or the locker room but let’s be realistic shall we? I did this for more my amusement than his, as these ideas only spurred his already overwhelmed imagination even further on. Much to my enjoyment might I say!  I will tell him shower time is always good for me time if nothing else lmfao.  I find that everyone should make their fantasies come true… Of course if you’re a sociopath let’s not shall we? There is nothing wrong with having a fantasy and even less wrong with fulfilling it as long as you don’t harm yourself or anyone else in the process. I say get your freak on. Enjoy your life and stop living it according to what everyone else thinks it should be. You only get one. Why live it following someone else’s lead?  If you want to do something than by all fucking means do it and fuck anyone who tells you different. The good thing about living out a fantasy is you can do it and you don’t have to share it with the world. You can be you without concern of what others think if that is what worries you.

Carpe Diem Bitches

Sinny

 

Virginal Insanity

LoLo Jones Boycotts 50 Shades of Grey  

^ Story from TMZ


 Lets begin with some back story on LoLo shall we? Just so we can get a visualization on who I'm speaking about before I jump off on my tirade. Let me make this clear before I get going though... I will not slander this woman as I don't know her personally, nor do I care to. She is Olympic track and field star as well as bobsled. She made her name because she is one of few who have participated in both Summer and Winter Olympics, though she did not Medal in either.  She is also a devout Evangelical Christian and self-proclaimed Virgin. Now all of this in and of itself is of no interest to me personally. I could truly care less. Who am I to judge your choices in life? I don't knock anyone for their religion or their lifestyle because at the end of the day? I could give a fuck less what you do as long as you are doing it safely and are not harming others. Soooo... Lets get this ball of shit rollin shall we?

I have my beliefs. I don't throw them out there for the world because I am not one to force feed someone something just because it's what I eat. EVERY single human on this planet has the right to live and breath their own ideals. I am a hairs breath away from 40 and when my time on this earth is done my beliefs will come in and be dealt with accordingly. I also have lived a lifestyle (very privately) that many would deem improper. Let me toss some Bible scripture out there for ya for those of you who love to stand on your pedestal and toss judgement around like you have been chosen by God himself to do so. 

Luke 6:37
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Romans 2:1
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things

I could post so many more but I will stick to those two just to make my point. My private lifestyle is of no ones concern but my own. What gives this woman any right to judge others or to tell anyone what God would or would not approve of?. This movie based on a series of books (The first having been released in 2011 let me remind you.) ( Don't recall her throwing a psycho bitch fit then... Do you??) is written around the BDSM lifestyle.. For those of you who have no idea what that means it is Bondage Domination Sadism and Masochism. If you all don't know what those words are for Christs sake get a damn dictionary. It entails the relationship of a woman who knows nothing of this lifestyle and is drawn into it by a very powerful wealthy man. He being a Dom and showing her that she is a true submissive. I have not yet seen the movie but let me be clear... There have been and will always be more movies surrounding this lifestyle. I do not recall her laying judgement on The Secretary or Bound? Both of which entail the lifestyle vividly throughout. 

So it seems to me psycho annie has chosen this movie because it is a box office smash. In it's opening weekend it cleared 248 million dollars beating out Avatar.. Careful LoLo your attention whore ways or rearing their ugly head...  Let me ask... Why is it when someone using religion to toss out their close minded and ignorant beliefs says something about abomination its front page news? Movies, music and video games have been given blame for all of life's horrors. Kids shoot up school... Blame Marilyn Manson, Rock and Roll leads to drug abuse and promiscuous sex! ooooh nooooo Beavis and Butthead made a kid start a fire! Now women are being demeaned because of a racy movie? Seriously? 

How about... Stop blaming others for something maybe you should take blame for... Stop looking for your fifteen minutes of fame because your washed up and no one cares that your crazy ass is still a virgin. Maybe.. Go seek some psychiatric help because sounds to me like your frigid ass needs some assistance? How do you know God created sex only for procreation? Do you speak to him personally? Hmmm. 

Bitch you need meds lmfao... Just sayin.. 

Fine line between Danie and Sin

So I suppose I should finally get off my ass.... Or actually... Sit on my ass and finally start this blog I have been talking about (mostly in my own head because hell no one actually listens to my bullshit anyway these days) for well over a year... I have repeatedly talked myself into and than back out of doing this for so long I finally just decided screw it lets do it... What's the worst that could happen right? No one reads it? Psh Oh well... Then I'll just chalk it up and call it a Journal? I mean my conversations these days tend to bore even me. That seems to be an accomplishment since typically I am pretty easily amused.

So here is how this will work... For those of you who care to read the crap that will probably be spewed from this Blog.. I will take emails and offers on subjects. If you want or need advice ( Just remember who this is because you first few that may join in on this train wreck know I am foul mouthed and blunt as fuck) feel free to hit me up via, FB, email or text. This all of course depending on how well you know me. I will at the beginning post my email and my fb credentials so that you will know how to reach me. Only close friends will be able to contact me via text. Sorry but I have a stalker already I have no desire in adding to that already fun resume...

Many of you know I am a book whore as well, so on that note I will be posting reviews of books I am currently hording in my love trove via kindle awesomeness. This blog has been a very long time coming so be prepared for random crazy shit over the next month or so. I am sure at some point I will find an even keel but the beginning of any venture (at least for me) tends to be craziness personified. If at some point this Blog becomes more than I alone can handle I will find and take one people as crazy as I to join in on the fun. My desire for this is that it becomes somewhere that people come for a laugh as well as honesty and Intelligent entertainment. Yes it will be fraught with rude comments and a plethora of foul language but do not mistake all of that as lack of intelligence from myself or anyone else who may become a part of this journey. We will be as honest as we can while making it fun and full of laughs. I will not tolerate any drama nor bullshit hate filled or racist comments on here so if you come to be a part of this lovely place remember... This bitch belongs to me and I can and will shame you, humiliate you and educate you while kicking your ass right out the door you walked in here through.

I want to give my thanks to someone real fast before I call this post to an end... I won't put you on blast here but when we chatted after one of my most recent fb rants, you told me I should do something more be it Youtube or whatever. I have few people who sing my praises these days. Even less who I call friend. We don't talk often and usually it is short and sweet but I do consider you just that. Thank you for giving me one more reason to do something more. Love you my friend.


Oh and btw... For you grammar Nazis... Eat me bitches.


So now... On with the show!